right! here we go! it seems, that in these passing times, it has become
fashionable, nay, perhaps even (scoff!) *required* of goths very much like
ourselves that they reflect upon life itself with the most cynical and morose
of countenances. we, the perkygoths of the world, stand in the face of this,
and reclaim our heritage as follows!
1. we realize, and perhaps even declare publically, the simple
fact that our attire and decorative tastes are downright
*silly*, yet in the face of this impractical and sometimes
even inconvenient nature of things, we LAUGH! yes, all those
skirts make the boys have to piss like girls, but hey! it
contributes toward greater understanding between the sexes!
2. there *is* no "standard" behaviour or code of any sort for a
member of the so-called "underground", you silly gits! why,
who ever thought of anything so bleeding preposterous?! if i
want to skip across the dance floor to see a friend, well
damn it all, im *going* to! and about that smile i was
wearing last week at the club, yes, it *was* mine! no, my
mother did *not* make me wear it!
3. um, just cause i look like a "goth" right this very instant
does *not* preclude me *not* looking like a goth sometime
tommorrow. after the shock and horror of this realization
passes by, you will note that its actually quite fun to
inject a little variety into things.
4. on *that* note, neither are we required to listen *solely*
to "goth" or "death rock" or "darkwave". we *are*, however,
allowed to physically assault the next person who scowls at
us for slapping that p-funk, hard techno, or riot grrrl
record on the turntable immediately after playing sisters
4.5. and while im thinking about it, were also allowed to
clobber anyone at a club who whines about the dj playing
too much "goth" and not enough "death rock" or something
of that ilk.
5. but, if theres one thing we *mustnt* ever do, under any
circumstances, it is lord our knowledge over that of
others. if there is a sin, dear perkygoths, it is
self-righteousness and pomposity. we simply *mustnt* go out
and wave all that nifty info we just read out of good old
mr. mercers handy-dandy goth guide as if wed known it all
along. cause face it, most of us werent even there when
half of that stuff happenned. (there *are* exceptions, of
course, but they arent allowed to lord their knowledge
either, nor are they supposed to reflect in a nostalgic and
6. oh! right! back to perky! um, stomping in mud puddles in
perfectly acceptable. dancing and *realizing* that you look
like a complete idiot is heartily encouraged. continuing to
dance, no matter how amny other peple are also noting that
you look like an idiot, is even more heartily encouraged.
remember kids, the looks or the lifestyle? the lifestyle,
of course. youre a perkygoth. dont just look like a looney,
*act* like one! its much more fufilling than primping in a
mirror all night.
7. um, i forgot the rest. probably didnt even think of them to
begin with. ive prolly lied about everything so far. uh, am
i getting paid to do this? what was i saying?
7.5. just remember, fun is your middle name. or at least its
*somewhere* in your vocabulary. whatever youre doing,
think to yourself: "am i having FUN?" if no, time to do
something else. a short attention span means you dont
have *time* to get bored and mope!
let *this* be our ralling cry!
"DO NOT STAND IN OUR WAY! WE WILL WALK AROUND YOU!"
(inspiration credits to: huggy bear, girlfrenzy, the polecats, and that coffee
i had last night. its worn off now, and not affecting me, but just thinking
about it... whoosh! time for more!)
lurve (whoa-oh, catch that drug...),