Welcome to:

*******VLAD'S MUSIC NEWS*******

for October 13, 1995

Our Top Story:


Andrew Eldritch has decided, after a bit too many drinks, to not only sack himself from SOM, but to sack Doc Avalanche (who recently ran off with a midi board anyways), Wayne Hussey, and Winston Churchill. Only Churchill was offended by this. Churchill was recently heard stating the following:

Churchill: "He can't sack me! I'm bloody Churchill! And besides 
            that, I'm dead, which means sacking me just isn't 
            polite! Won't *anyone* stand up for me?"

After such a rousing speech, men around the world did stand up for Churchill, which lead to a number of messes in bathrooms.

Andrew's latest move has been to sack random people on the street, which has lead to an increase in the lines at Unemployment offices here in America and at various sundry Ministries around the world..... --------------------------------------------------------------------

The True Determination of Who is Xian Death


After numerous court battles and such, Valor and Rozz have finally come up with a decisive way to end their bitter struggle for the name Xian Death:

*Nude Jello Wrestling*

Yes, this event will take place in Washington DC right on the Mall, so as to attract the largest crowd (which will help insure a fair fight). The Reflecting Pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial is, as we speak, having thousands of Jello packages emptied into it in order to have it ready for their epic battle, which will take place on Saturday Dec. 14th, and will be followed shortly by President Clinton, in a campaign craze, stripping to his underwear and wrestling the winner, after which he and the winner shall light the Capitol Xmas tree and then retire to Camp David for a night of fun and leather. -----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cure Album Release Date Settled


Robert Smith announced that his new work will be released shortly before Fall of 2038 AD. The album, though, will not be the Cure persay, but will rather be comprised of duets between Smith and Carl McCoy of Fields....