What Did Jesus Say?

Many philosophers over time have asked this same question, but on alt.gothic, as always, things are slightly different. Ian Herrick asked a flamey bastard a particular question, and many on alt.gothic rose up to answer him, in the true alt.gothic fashion:

From: ianh@capital.net (Ian Herrick)

Hello?  David?  Are you there?
Tell me something, when Jesus was bleeding on his cross, what did he say?
And here were the responses:


From: purp@tiac.net (The Purple Sage)

"someone get me some bandaids & painkillers!"


From: jmaloney@gpu3.srv.ualberta.ca (John Maloney)

	He said, "Peter, I can see your house from up here..."


From: Benjamin (nimajneb@deltanet.com)

   Perhaps here are a few possibilities:

1. "Dad? Mom? Hey, where did you go?"
2. "Wow, I coulda had a V-8!"
3. "Anybody got a band-aid?"
4. "This is _not_ helping my self-esteem!"
5. "Oi-vay, how could this happen to a nice Jewish boy?"
6. "Scotty , now would be a really good time to beam me up!"
7. "Is anybody writing this down?"
8. "Look, from up here I can almost see Rome!"
9. "Where the fuck is my lawyer!"
10. "Kids, don't try this at home...."
11. "I'll be baaack...."
12. "Lets do the timewarp again...."


From: moonlite@fn1.freenet.edmonton.ab.ca ()

	1. Thanks for putting me up for the night!
	2. "Always look on the bright side of life..."
	3. I've risen, and I can't get down!
	4. OWWWW!!!!! 


From: edvamp@newshost.li.net (Edward Johnson)

	Some possibilities:


Could someone, like, get me down?

You know, this could get infected.

Being related to the boss does NOT mean a free ride.

Go down to Earth, he said.  Heal the sick, he said.  Spread my word to 
the non believers, he said.  You forgot to mention this part, didn't you? 


From: djsd100@thor.cam.ac.uk (!David / Kirsty Damerell)

Sheesh, these holes in the hands are gonna make it a real bugger eating

From: vlad@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu (Ken Nagle)

"I hope when someone paints a picture of this, they get my good side."

"I'll be back!" (in austrian accent)

"How come I always get stuck in the middle on the hump? Sure, give the 
thieves the side." (snidely)

"How do they get that creamy filling in the Twinkee?"

"Enough with the cheap wine already. I've got some better stuff flowing 
out my side. Give me that instead. And don't you have any proper glasses? 
I prefer to not drink my wine from sponges, let alone sponges on the end 
of spears. And another thing....."

"Where's Batman when you need him?"

"Son of God? All I said was the sun was good......"

"I'm in-VINCE-able" (done in Monty Python fashion)

"Maybe I *should* have let that cup pass me by......."

"This should make for some beautiful imagery someday."

"All right, guys. This just isn't funny anymore. Guys? Guys?