The Rat Bastard FAQ

Everything that You Never Knew and Many of the Things that You Never Wanted To

Q: You are neither a Rat, nor a Bastard, so why do you call yourself Rat Bastard?

A: There are at least two possible answers to this timeless question: 1) Many things are not properly described as being the mere sum of their component parts. For example, most of us are basically bags of blood, bone, and guts. Do any one of these alone properly describe us? Do even all of these combined properly describe us? (OK, I admit that it properly describes some people, but that's beside the point) Therefore, I am neither a Rat, nor a Bastard (although that is sometimes open to conjecture). I am Rat Bastard, something other than the mere sum of its component parts. 2) It's just a nickname; get over it. :P

Q: Why does you hair grow in such a strange manner?

A: My hair, being an independent sentient entity, grows as it pleases. Sometimes, I can, with proper application of discipline (tazers are good, hairspray is better), bend it to my will.

Q: Why don't you you use anything k3w1 in your website, such as embedded midis, or animated gifs?

A: Because they generally suck. I firmly believe that there is an entire region of Hell devoted to the punishment of those who are quilty of over-abundant usage of such infernal creations. You laugh now, but I hear that Satan's ballgags have retractable spikes (controlled via remote, of course... Hell has become quite modernized since the time of Dante's visit)

Q: What the hell is this 'goth' thing?

A: If you don't already have some reasonable idea about what 'goth' means, then you're not going to get a definition out of me (sorry, it's personal policy). However, I do have a net.goth resource center which, if properly utilized, should be able to provide the insight that I choose to remain gleefully silent about. Think of it as me sending you on a sort of scavenger hunt. Happy hunting!

Q: Why are you such a weird freak?

A: You mean, as opposed to being a not-so-wierd freak? Look, try to put yourself in my position... and currently, I'm in the sitting position. So sit down, close your eyes, and brace yourself... as doing so may ease the sudden shock of my boot entering your mouth at high velocity (actually, it probably won't.. but ya never know ;) )

Got a question? E-mail me, and if I like it enough, it just might make it into the FAQ. :)

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