Friday, March 08, 2002

I realize how horrible this sounds, because under a month ago I was raving about Anne-MArie; don't get me wrong, I still like her, and I'd still love to be with her, but she doesn't understand or appreciate my Gothic leanings the way that Christina seems to. I realized this the other day when she reminded me how much she likes my fangs... "Nice teeth!" Her friend Johanna thought she said "nice tits" for some reason, don't ask me why.
But anyway, they were both on my mini-course, and I got to know them a little better there... kinda 'cement' he friendship, if you will. I've been wanting to literally sweep her off her feet and figuratively sink my teeth into her for a while now... problem being, I don't see her that often as we share no classes.
I had a really weird dream the other noght, that they were in, too. we were in this huge hotel, but the power was out. And there was some important person who had access to the special elevator, which still worked, but she was just using it for herself and her kids... and there were these guys who were trying to get in, but for some reason we didnt want them in, which meant we couldn't leave either... and then we were all lying in the hallway to sleep, cause I guess we didnt have rooms or the locks didnt work, or something... so anyway, they're wearing nothing but t-shirts, and Johanna is wearing this t-shirt that I got when I was like 6, and I mention that I'm amazed she could actually get into it...then she rolls over, and since its so small on her, I get an eyeful of her bare lap... and then I woke up
Where's Freud when you need him?

I dunno... maybe its the weather, or maybe its hormones, or just my mental state, but all I can think about lately is sex... not just the act, but basic physical intimacy... I really gotta get a girlfreind.... gotta find a Prom date, too.
If I wasn't so insecure, this wouldn't be a problem... I am starting to move forward there, though. Hopefully I'll manage to show affection without feeling really awkward sometime soon. Perhaps the fact that things with Ana have reached a, how shall I put it?... conclusion, of sorts, what with her being in bootcamp and unavailable (more now than ever)... perhaps that helps, no?