Bob's Doom Page
I was thinking on the bus yesterday that about that wacky and
wonderful game Doom. It is like a black hole for
time. "Gee, I've bit of work to do, I think I'll spend 5 minutes
playing Doom." Next thing you know, the sun has set and
you're alone in the lab.
[p>So anyway, Doom has the ability to customise and let the
player (if they know how) alter the game to fit what they want it to
do. Both good guys and bad guys can be changed to look however you
want. Also the map can be altered to make new games of your own. Out
there somewhere, floating about, are such versions, as Aliens
Doom with sounds and bad things from Alien,
Barney Doom with a big chubby dinosaur trying to kill
you, Washington DC Metro Doom which takes place on the DC
Metro system, and loads of others. There are certain versions, that
probably don't exist, but I'd love it if they did.
My Doom suggestions:
- Tank Girl Doom -
Replace the picture at the
bottom of the screen with Tank
Girl. You can add random plasters to her head when she
gets hurt. The imps can be replaced by evil-looking kangaroos
and sergeants can be replaced by Sergeant Small Unit.
- Doomsbury -
Replace the hero with, you
guessed it, Mike Doonsbury. Let the little rectangle-nosed guy
smirk in the box on bottom while attacked by such monsters as
Duke and the dreaded Mr. Butts. The cacodemons could be Ron
- Supermodel Doom - Sick of those pretentious
exomorphic mutants in magazines, on TV, in the movies,
even on the net? Well, get take out your aggressions
with Cindy Crawford as an imp, or the evil El McPherseon as a
Duke of Hell.
- DC Crackhouse Doom - I thought of this the
moment I heard DC police can carry anti-tank weapons. You are
a cop in the bad part of DC. But it's ok, 'cos you're armed to
the teeth. Replace the bad guys with crackheads, pimps, and
all the rest of the DC underground. Look out for the dreaded
cyberdemon, in the guise of ex(?) mayor Marion Barry!
- Doom in Hell - Yes, it's those lovable Matt
Greoning characters and they're here to take over the world.
They're all here. Binky, Sheba, Ackbar, Jeff, whatever.
- Redneck Doom - The shotguns are there. All
you need are pickup-trucks and to dress the barons of hell in
plaid and there you are.
- Doom on Ice!!! - Yup. You never woulda thunk
it, but why not? The Doomcapades. Replace the
floor with ice and put the bad guys on ice skates, shoot 'em and watch
the momentum make 'em fly backwards! Beware the Cyberzamboni!
- JTHM Doom - Yes, it's your
favourite axe-wielding homicidal maniac, NNY, in his own
Doom adventure. Admittedly, it
might not be as challenging, chasing around unarmed, screaming people,
but think of the fun you'll have chasing them down with only knives,
axes, and the BPS-9000.
- Despair aka
Existential Doom - Fight the demons
of self-doubt in a hell of your own making, armed with
nothing but your wits and a double-barrelled shotgun! Run
down the corridors of life, hunting for the (red, blue and
yellow) keys to your identity. Let your responsibility for
your own actions and the actions of others heal your
metaphysical wounds. But beware the dreaded Kafkademon.
If anyone knows if any of these exists or wants to make one, tell
me. I'd like to use it at some point when I don't have time to. Also,
feel free to make more suggestions about other possible versions. I'll
add them to my list, if I feel like it.
There does exist a South Park version of
By Bob Rosenberg