The Robot Dream

I was at home when I looked out the window and saw a malignant robot approaching.  The robot sort of resembled a cross between the character Boba Fett (sp?) from the Star Wars movies, and the robot from "The Day the Earth Stood Still." The important feature was that it was heavily armoured, and its visual sensors were protected by a thick steel plate, with only a narrow gap in that plate.  I knew that the robot was coming to take my family off to a
re-education camp, and so I went to my room and surveyed my available weapons.  I had a Cold Gun, which sort of resembled a WW II "grease gun" submachinegun, and Fire Gun, which looks suspiciously like a 3-inch diameter cardboard tube onto which I had glued two wooden handles.  Finally, I had my old Crossman 766 B.B rifle.

I took all three weapons downstairs and outside with me.  As the robot approached my house, I opened up on it with the Fire Gun.  A great gout of orange fire splashed against it for 10 seconds, but it had no effect; the robot kept coming.  I drew my Cold Gun, and fired a stream of super-cooled liquid helium at the robot, but the robot ignored this also.  The robot lunged at me, but I dodged it, and it went into my house and picked up my mother and father, who apparently did not resist it.  I believe the robot had some kind of ability to paralyze by touch... like a Dungeons and Dragons ghoul or something.  I knew that my only chance to stop the robot from carrying me off was to hit it in a critical spot with the B.B gun.  So I pumped the B.B gun 10 times, and put my only B.B in it -- I seemed to only have one B.B for the gun -- the Great Atif Hunt Memorial B.B which I had shot my high-school gangbanger-wanna-be friend Atif with in 9th grade.  It had a bit of dried blood on it.  (I'll put up the details of the Great Atif Hunt sometime.)  And so, as the robot started to leave, I fired the B.B gun at the robot's sensor-slit, but I missed by a centimetre.  (My dreams are not usually compatible with the Metric system)  The near-miss seemed to deter the robot from making another attempt to capture me, and since it had already captured my mother and father, it left with them.

I was going to pick up the Great Atif Hunt Memorial B.B and try again, when a malignant andriod began to approach.  The android was sent to deal with special problem cases, like me, and it was supposed to be tougher than the malignant robot. I pumped up the B.B gun quickly to shoot the android in one of its eyes, and it said something like, "The nice thing about knowing your only vulnerabity is that it is easy to defend."  I shot the B.B at the android's eye, but it blocked the B.B with its hand.  It picked me up and started to carry me to the re-education camp.  Fortunately, it was unable to paralyze me, and I destroyed it by stabbing it in the eye with the pointy end of a metal spoon that I carried with me to make hot cocoa.