The Ascendancy of an Emperor

A Photographic Chronicle

The Emperor, Avoiding Mines

After another easy victory, I stepped carefully through the camp of my vanquished enemy, knowing that in desperation, land mines might have been placed throughout the camp...

The First Human Recruit

...I sighed, remembering that even Alexander the Great and Napoleon had to start somewhere.  Nearby on the display-chair sat the two prototype troop-carriers I had designed in my early years.

Armed For Battle

I was somewhat surprised, however, as my first human recruit, my brother Jim, served most competently.

I Rally the Troops to Battle

Soon after my 433rd victory, the size of my army grew larger every day, and new enlistees flocked to my cause.

Victorious Again

Truly, after my 768th victory, we were brothers in arms...

Struggling with the Escape Pod

With a determined expression, I heaved at the escape pod .


I allowed myself a brief grin of satisfaction as the escape pod finally surged forward...

Analyzing Materiel

With little time left, I examined what resources were at hand.  A sprinkler, and an absolutely filthy grill full of ash?  I immediately knew what to do; my enemy was as good as bathed...

The Photographer Never Knew

Immediately after the photo was taken, the flowers suffered an unspeakable fate...

Not So Super, Man

My brother smiles, as I demonstrate how foolish that impudent wretch Superman would look with a broken neck...

Another Example of My Prowess

As dangerous and headstrong as these beast were, I eventually turned them into fine steeds for my cavalry, after a fierce battle in which they were wrested from savages who used the beasts as mounts.

NOTE: Although it APPEARS that I am wearing Hawaiian-style shorts in this image, this is not the case.  The red is  the spattered blood of my enemies; the battle was hard-won, and the pantaloons of my battle-suit were in tatters.

My Brother and I Capture my Escaped Cousin Jeff, the Pretender to my Throne

"Must I do everything around here," I screamed into the radio.  "Hardly should I, the Emperor, have to be responsible for capturing the escapees.  Return to base at once, where you will report to the detention center..."

Hatless Emperor

In my Imperial Court, only the Emperor is not required to wear a hat.  Even the figures in the portrait are wearing hats.


With supplies and ammuntion running out, I resorted to piracy to help support my armies...

Plaid Patrol

In our snappy uniforms, we struck fear in our enemies...

Plaid Patrol Calling

We gave them an insouciant look as we approached the door...

Hi Ho Polyurethane!

When our armored units were destroyed by the ememy's Electro-Magnetic Pulse Weapon, I appropriated fierce riding beasts, and formed cavalry divisions...

NOTE: the red riding-toy is an archaic Hoppity-Hop! After the Hoppity Hop became a casualty of a viscous thrust from a sharpened stick, it was retired to the shed for many years. Later, it was "skinned," and a portion of its rubber was cut to form a seal on the oil-fill cap on my 1.8 litre 914.

The Emperor and His Lieutenant at the Firing Range

After years of extensive and expensive field tests, the debate over stopping power vs. concealability was never resolved to my satisfaction...

Wounded Warrior

Although his wounds were severe, my lieutenant and I were able to smile as we addressed the troops...


I was not in the mood for even my brother's
jokes as I formulated my next battle-plan...

Pre-Imperial Para-Military Training

In the para-military organization known as the Future Emperors of the World, a.k.a., the Cub Scouts, I learned of the advantages of sophisticated, modern firearms.

Not a Photo-Op

I was angry with my Imperial Press Corps -- moments before battle was NOT the logical time for a photo-shoot, even though I was magnificently-attired in my pink battle-suit.

Armoured Limousine

This 655 h.p. armed and armoured Chevrolet Corvette served as my limousine on those rare occasions when my Porsche 914 was in need of service.

Before I Had Human Troops...

My first troops were not even human -- I was forced to use sorcerous constructs.  Often, such entities were remarkably stupid...

Discipline Problems

Their discipline was exceedingly poor.  "Take them to the re-education chamber," I ordered, while sitting upon my Imperial throne.

Dr. Evil Had Nothing on This Kid

I contemplated long and hard as to how I might enforce order upon their ranks...

Disciplinary Procedures

But even the most stupid and headstrong of my constructs  fell into line after a few applications of the dreaded Ear-Pinching Torture.


Once when we were ambushed, my enemies captured me and threw me into their dungeon.  "Is this pitiful cage the best you can do?" I taunted.  Within minutes, I had effected an escape, and went to release my brother...

 ...and Escape!

...soon afterwards, we discovered a cache of primitive arms and armour.  I had trained my brother well in the archaic combat forms, and in a brutal and bloody battle, we carved our way to freedom... 

I Form a Plan

My brother was disturbed by what I intended to do, for he had unwisely fallen in love with the sacrificial virgin to his left.   My carrier, however, continued to serve me well when I was too exhausted from my conjurations.

The Final Incantation

As I turned the page of the dread Tome, my brother's eyes widened in fear when I began to speak the incantation...

A Proclamation

With a single mighty enchantment, I vanquished all my enemies.  Raising my sceptre, I declared peace throughout the land.


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