barbed wire bat Carl : Mr.Poofy head himself, a freak from the BIG BUFF (read:Buffalo, NY) Be careful around him, though. He has 50 million different breeds of insect living in his house. To the left, Carl shows us how to get around in the city without a car.

girl with the 
golden hair Kristiina : Kristiina, or iii for short. A sickly and frail(read: OH SO GOFFICK!) girl who likes to get shoes thrown at her head! She seldom leaves her Adobe Potoshop terminal, as she is severly addicted to editting porn off the net to make all the faces look like Bea Arthur.

goat picture Luis : This one really needs help. He is severly addicted to putting metal through his body, and loves to lure little children into his house and torture them by making them pierce themselves. The heir of the Chupacabra... tremble with fear.

Faerie Picture Megan: Megan, the Perky Coffee Bitch from Hell *tm* , is one not to reckon with, especially if you cannot speak proper English. She loves to go tag team co-ed naked flower stomping with the Chupacabras. And there to the left she is doing just that.

and Kristiina Erin : Sweet, little, DANGEROUS, and DEADLY Erin. She is a master at the art of Wang Chung. Just don't call her a smurf, and for heavens sake, don't call her cute! She has been known to maim for less and has atendency to sneak up on the offenders when they least expect it and wreak the vengeance of wombats upon them. She is to be approached with all necessary caution and we advise against playing nasty little tricks on her. The foolish mortal that juxtaposed her name with a picture of a cute little blue elf now lies dead from "questionable circumstances". LEFT: Erin and Kristiina ready to inflict torture on someone who called them cute.

Honorary Members

hobbes dancing Vlad: our own little Vladykins. He became an honorary member of Wombat Vengeance due to his wonderful help on the Gothic Intelligence test (under Amusements if you are interested). Vlad is fond of trekking through the urban jungle known as DC naked except for a pair of white socks he uses to frighten off panhandlers and innocent men who hold pencils. Use caution when approaching, because he has been known to suffer fits of madness in which he attacks innocent bystanders and applies Gothic Makeup upon them. If you know dear Vlad, then you know his favorite nick name is Lambchop, so call him this at all times.

barbed wire


The other night, four of the illustrious members of Wombat Vengeance were sitting around SoHo's reading the CityPaper and being lethargic when we decided we needed to liven ourselves up. We decided to play M.A.S.H..

You remember M.A.S.H., right? No, no, NOT the t.v. show - that stupid game you played with your friends in elementary school to find out what the future holds for you in terms of marriage, kids, transportation, housing, and whatever the hell else you want to know about. Well, after searching for a pen and going on numerous napkin runs, we finally figured out what we'll be doing a few years from now. And boy, aren't we THRILLED.

The Results


Housing : Shack Location : Washington, D.C., the lucky boy Husband : Luis Husband's Penis Size : 6" Car: Yugo Profession : Wombat Tamer Mental Disorder : Narcoleptic Hair: Brown

Erin Housing : Mansion Location : London Husband : Oren {one of our icky ex's, but we won't say who} Husband's Penis Size : 3" {but we knew that} Car : Scooter Profession : Lifeguard Mental Disorder : Fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth Hair : Chartreuse

Kristiina Housing : House Location : Alabama Husband : The Kids in the Hall {collectively?} Husband's Penis Size : 18" {ouch} Car : KaTruck Profession : Stripper at a dyke bar Mental Disorder : Agoraphobia Hair : Seafoam Green

Megan Housing: Mansion Location: Cayman Islands Husband: TJ Husband's Penis Size: 12" (gulp) Car: Black Saturn Profession: "waitress" at Hooters Mental Disorder: I attract slimy losers/leeches who try to follow me home and sit on my front porch and whine and I feel sorry for them and feed them like little lost kittens. Hair: Purple

Aren't we wacky?