Suffer The Yuppie


*Disclaimer* Please be aware the authors of this web page are not actually suggesting that anyone go out and harm other human beings/animals/plants, the following is a _JOKE_ if you can not take it as such do NOT read this
and other various forms of amusement



Well, we've all seen it. You go out to your local club, dressed to the nines, fishnets, PVC boots, black dress, Black patent leather corset, elbow gloves, the works.
You're dancing to The Smiths, or The Cure or even Sisters of Mercy when you see them. "Them". Yep, those yuppie/preppie scum who invade your club in their little white shorts and flannel shirts. The drunken frat boys who stare at your chest and smirk before trying to dance and failing miserabley.

Or worse, the older ex-frat boy, now yuppie who comes onto the dance floor still in his three piece suit and believes that by imitating the Nutcracker he will fit in on the dance floor, or worse tries to dance to Jesus Built My Hotrod.

They laugh, make jokes about the music, a music they know little to nothing, about. And then they try to pick up the Goth Girls on the dance floor. Girls who are about the age of their own children, are now open prey to their slimy sexual advances.

Well, we got a bit sick of it happeneing week after week, so we decided action was due course. and thus our baby, "Suffer the Yuppie" was created.
Enjoy, and feel free to employ it in Your own club.





Suffer The Yuppie
Basic Premises

The basic ulterior motive for the game, Suffer The Yuppie is more than just causing duly harm to yuppies/preppies/frat boys and slimy men who hit on you at clubs. It is also a study in the art of Sadism and Torture. Two crafts all Gothic Souls should possess.
It is also a helpful way of ridding your local club of the yuppie/preppie/frat boy and slimy men presence, surely a worthy goal in any case.

Be aware that this game does not promise to keep your local club clear of Yuppies etc, or even to clear them out in the first place, but it does promise to be a lot of fun.

and now, with _that_ out of the way, let us move on to Rules and Regulations.

Fuck the Rules and Regulations!


Rules and Regulations
1) Yuppies and preppies and frat boys, must be on the premises of the club. You cannot drag them in off the street for fun.

2) Yuppies and Preppies and frat boys (here after referred to just by Yuppies) must be true Yuppies etc. You CANNOT dress up a friend or a family member as a Yuppie and "suffer" them.

3) Yuppie must initiate contact, or action. You cannot just assault some old guy in your club. He must first try to hit on you, or knock you down, or touch you in some way.

4) You CANNOT assault some scene member you have a grudge with and then claim you thought he/she was a yuppie.

5) You Cannot lead the Yuppie on by flirting with him and then deciding to deck him.

6) Purposely getting the Yuppie drunk before "suffering" him is discouraged, though _allowing_ the yuppie to get drunk all on his own is perfectly fine, and actually encouraged for a few reasons. a) they can't fight back as well if they are drunk. b) they tend to get much sleasier and therefore give a much better reason for the attack.

7) Double Teaming the Yuppie is discouraged unless there is more than one of them. If you are being harrassed by two or three frat boys, it is perfectly respectable to use four or five people to bring them down.


other rules may be added as neccessary due to the local customs



Description of Yuppies

Well, I'm sure you all know what a yuppie looks like (which is good cause they are in a way kind of hard to describe) but it is a good idea for every location this is played at to keep a running description of the local Yuppies, so you don't accidently injure someone of your own scene simply from another area, an area that dresses, as a whole, differently than yours.

Basic Description:
Yuppies tend to be between the ages of thirty and fifty. They tend to wear three piece suits and look as if they are lawyers. They also look as if they have just dragged their ass off a barstool at the local place that was having hour (most likely due to the fact that they _DID_ just drag their ass off a barstool at the local place that was having happy hour). They at first tend to be bewildered by the dancing, and then attempt to imitate it, failing miserabley, or worse attempt to reproduce moves seen only in Jackie Chan movies (slowed down of course) or at the Metropolitan Ballet Theatre.
They tend to stand along the wall or edge of the dance floor and leer at the girls drinking their imported beers and talking amongst themselves. When slightly more intoxicated they try sexual advances on the more exotically dressed women. They do not respond well to rejctions and most of them tend to brush it off as if it never penetrated their puny brains.

This is a basic description of the "yuppie" Please bear in mind that they are lesser life forms and not capable of our higher thought and therefore must be considered dangerous simply by their lack of being able to understand the logic that we are not interested in them, nor is this the place for them to be. And that we do not appreciate their gawking at us or leering at us. All in all Yuppies are very stupid creatures.


Well now that you know the rules, you may want ideas for the game. Basic suggestions, quick sudden blows to the face or chest and then disappear on the dance floor, This works especially well during faster more violent songs because the blow could be considered an accident. Otherwise wait for the slimy yuppie to approach you, make an indecent proposal, and as loudly as possible proclaim your shock and how affronted you are and shove him backwards over his feet and into his buddies hoping that in the fall they injure themselves.
Play Nicely, and remember to have fun!