From: isolate@ix.netcom.com (Isolate) To: blah2@obscure.org Subject: Re: AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 16:39:10 GMT here's a rerun of my "Rant about Overbearing Co-workers" Coming soon to an email near you is the "Nosy Coworker Rant." She reads your email, she pokes around your desk, she sniffs your lunch...what you can do to stop her!! "why is that some co-workers don't think of themselves as co-workers but also as your mini personal supervisor? it's not like we dont already have a boss, and we have our boss's boss and our boss's boss's boss to tell us what to do. well, excuse me if i get rather pissy when someone on the same level of the corporate food chain tries to tell me what to do. i was told once that "peers don't tell peers what to do." but the overbearing co-worker doesnt think of it in those terms, because they'll never come out and actually give you a direct order, its always couched as some request or under the guise of guidance and training, even when they have no idea what they are talking about (and in this specific case, something they just learned the day before from another co-worker) now i have no problem with training someone, imparting knowledge is a good thing, but not when you're going to be an asshole about it (and not when you're going to interrupt my web browser for it either) and if you give in just once, then the misbehaving will just continue and even flourish (especially when your real boss is on a week vacation in New Orleans) so that's when you have to develop your avoidance techniques. you can't just confront them about their inappropriate overbearing attitude, so you have to be sneaky about not doing what they want you to, but also subtly let them know that you will NOT be their underling. my technique includes the "i'm really busy right now, how about later" tatic. which may work with some people but not the really self-inflated ones. they will just come back later. you need to make sure that they know that you will not ever be free for them to dump their work off onto you, so yes you'll be busy after lunch, yes you will be busy tomorrow, hell you're going to be busy til the year 2000, even though you may only be arranging the icons on your desktop, you will be busy and no this is not a good time. but if you happen to get trapped into stating you arent busy, get up and leave your desk. if they ask where you are going, the bathroom is always a good excuse especially if your overbearing co-worker is of the opposite sex. it is unlikely that they will follow you into the bathroom. if they do, you can always accuse them of sexual harrassment or something. if you get tired of hiding in the bathroom, head outside to smoke a cigarette. if you dont smoke, pretend. if they are a non-smoker they will just make some comment under their breath about cancer and wander off to boss around other co-workers. if they are a smoker, then make sure you directly head for the bathroom after you finish your cigarette. take a long time getting back to your desk. maybe even stop by someone else's desk and pretend to be working. the typical overbearing co-worker hates to hang around for people as this is non-productive and they are all about being productive. even they never seem to produce anything on their own. with my overbearing co-worker, i've found that if i keep a dos window open in the background and quickly switch over to it when he comes tromping by, he'll usually back off, especially if i've loaded a copy of my c++ homework. ooooo, boy, doesn't that programming stuff look hard. yup, it sure does to a bone head who just learned to right click in win95. eventually they will get the clue that you are not interested in the oh-so helpful overtures of telling you what to do. so how does a co-worker start on the path to being an overbearing co-worker? hrm, good question. i think it has something to do with liking the sound of their own voice, a somewhat anal personality and a unwarranted belief in their own superiority. usually they've been around along time, although that does not necessarily confer on them any sort of superior knowledge. oh well, they may know the names of every person in the building and know what times the cafeteria is open, but when it comes down to the actual job skills, they may know less than mail room guy and they certainly know less than you do. i mean why would they be in the same position for over 5 years? maybe they've made some horizontal arabesques across the company, but they've never actually moved up the corporate ladder. and they like to tell stories about "way back when." yes, way back when i could care less about you and your troubleshooting of the mainframe. *yawn* those stories are always humorless and full of some sort of preachy homilies about work and life and just hope that it doesn't include any religious overtones, otherwise you're in for the double whammy. and then it starts to get bad when they try to sell you long distance phone service.... just remember that you are younger and faster so you can always try to outrun them if all else fails." marcy