Updated every weekday.

Reviewed today: Old Navy (My cursory search couldn't find a web site for them)

What the hell is going on with these Old Navy commercials?

My best guess is that they are operating on that "if you hate it at least you remember it" school of advertising. Or perhaps some ad man somewhere decided he would try to create really bizarre commercials and is laughing really hard that Old Navy is actually paying for them. Or maybe Old Navy's President is sleeping with some agent that handles a bunch of has-been actors, meanwhile, he's also smoking crack.

Whatever the cause, Old Navy has successfully created a series of commercials that are at once facinating because they are so horrible, and incredibly irritating. When I see a new one, I'm compelled to watch it, and usually they succeed in leaving me with my jaw hanging open in wonderment of what it was that they were trying to do.

Of course they have also achieved an unblemished record of creating commecials which, after that first viewing, instantly become a good reason for changing the channel.

The themes of the commercials are weird to begin with. Add to that the purposefully campy scenery, and overtly bad special effects, and "stars" that make you think "who the hell is that?" and "I thought she was dead," and the result is pure commercial torture. I am currently trying to purge the memory of these ads from my head, though I keep seeing their most recent atrocity, which features their regular cast of washed up stars singing. So the rating is for that commercial, though you can assume that the other commercials would get similar ratings.

Rating: 0 seconds. Note: this is a new rating system, based on how long you would watch the commercial before changing the channel, from 0 to 60 seconds. A rating of zero means you would change the channel before even one half second has elapsed.

Conclusion: Do not shop at Old Navy.

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