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Special Guest Review
Long time fans of cynical.com (hah! like there are any of those) know that originally we intended to feature reviews by a lot of different people. Unfortunately, nobody ever sent in reviews, so we ... well ... didn't. But all that has apparently changed. Today we received the following review from someone named Cara. We're not sure if she wants us to use her last name, or even what her last name is for that matter--her e-mail return address had one last name, but the message was signed with another.

Anyway, she went to the trouble to write this review, and we have obviously not written anything lately, so here it is:

Reviewed today: Bounty Commercial

In case the title of this article doesn’t ring any particular bells, how about this…. There is a small boy, perhaps a 1.5-2 year old. He opens the refrigerator and takes out a carton of orange juice. He sets it on the floor. He gets out a cup and sets it on the floor. All the while, endearingly, his mini-pants are slipping from his ever-so-cute little hiney. The big challenge comes when he goes to pour the carton of OJ into the cup and ends up dumping the entire contents onto the kitchen floor.

This commercial is a bit of a departure from Bounty’s ad campaign. What has Bounty’s ad campaign been as of late? Damned if I know. All I can remember is “The quicker picker upper,” so I guess all is not lost. What I’m saying is, that their stuff hasn’t been real memorable lately. Maybe the housewives/husbands of the world would disagree.

This particular commercial hits the right tone though for their target market. The market would have to be parents with lots of sticky stuff to clean up from their own little mess-makers. Yes, we’ve seen lots of commercials with cute kids, dogs, families, etc. You’d think we’d have had it up to here with cute, but somehow, it still gets us. I hate to admit it when cute stuff gets me, but, well, I remembered the commercial and that’s not something I can say too often.

Overall rating: 35 seconds

Conclusion: Cara didn't give us a conclusion, but according to the ratings guide, 30 seconds is our highest rating. So this must be a fucking incredible commercial, so HOLY SHIT! Go buy buy Bounty!!! Right now! I said RIGHT FUCKING NOW DAMN IT!.

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