In 1997, I was doing my taxes, and as an intellectual exercise, I decided to find out how
much I would have had to pay in taxes if I had decided to spy on the U.S. for the United
Arab Emirates for one week in June, in addition to my normal job at the graphics lab at the University of Maryland.

I had to make several assumptions when computing my alternate taxes.

1.) A spy needs a handgun as a business tool

2.) A spy needs a flashy sports car

Reported Income (miscellaneous, since the category 'spying' didn't exist in the Turbo Tax program) for espionage for the United Arab Emirates: $1,000,000

Expenses:

1997 Porsche Boxter (One vehicle choice in the Turbo Tax program was the Ferrari 358GT)
Price $60,000 + $3,000 in taxes (the taxes could be deducted)

$3,000 in licensing fees and registration
(includes luxury and 'gas guzzler' tax)

Vehicle in use from 06/01/97 - 06/07/97 (one week)

$1,200 travel expenses (airfare)

$1,000 in miscellaneous business-related expenses (Berretta 9mm with laser sight)
Berretta in use from 06/01/97 - 06/07/97.

I assumed I'd dispose of the Berretta by throwing it into the Persian Gulf, which gave
me a significant tax break -- the effective selling price was $0

$500 for auto insurance

$17 for gas (one tank, high-octane)

250 miles of travel, at 33.7 cents per mile

$40 for parking in the U.A.E.  (It's expensive)

-$26,847 was the loss I was permitted to take when I drove the car to
a bad neighborhood in the U.A.E., and parked it, leaving the keys in the ignition,
and placing a sign on the windshield which read, "Free Car."

It seems that because I was unaware that I would be spying for the United
Arab Emirates in 1997, I failed to pay my estimated taxes, and suffered a
further penalty of $20,602

TurboTax said that because I was successful in my business endeavour of
"Espionage," I am to be congratulated.  However, it also indicated people in my income
bracket and occupation are frequently audited by the IRS.  Why doesn't that surprise me?

My total taxes due (including those from my ordinary job at the graphics
lab) were $387,103

What I learned from this exercise:

If you're planning on becoming a spy, remember to pay your estimated taxes!