After another easy victory, I stepped carefully through the camp of my vanquished enemy, knowing that in desperation, land mines might have been placed throughout the camp...
...I sighed, remembering that even Alexander the Great and Napoleon had to start somewhere. Nearby on the display-chair sat the two prototype troop-carriers I had designed in my early years.
I was somewhat surprised, however, as my first human recruit, my brother Jim, served most competently.
Soon after my 433rd victory, the size of my army grew larger every day, and new enlistees flocked to my cause.
Truly, after my 768th victory, we were brothers in arms...
With a determined expression, I heaved at the escape pod .
I allowed myself a brief grin of satisfaction as the escape pod finally surged forward...
With little time left, I examined what resources were at hand. A sprinkler, and an absolutely filthy grill full of ash? I immediately knew what to do; my enemy was as good as bathed...
Immediately after the photo was taken, the flowers suffered an unspeakable fate...
My brother smiles, as I demonstrate how foolish that impudent wretch Superman would look with a broken neck...
As dangerous and headstrong as these beast were, I
eventually turned them into fine steeds for my cavalry, after a fierce
battle in which they were wrested from savages who used the beasts as mounts.
NOTE: Although it APPEARS that I am wearing Hawaiian-style shorts in this image, this is not the case. The red is the spattered blood of my enemies; the battle was hard-won, and the pantaloons of my battle-suit were in tatters.
"Must I do everything around here," I screamed into the radio. "Hardly should I, the Emperor, have to be responsible for capturing the escapees. Return to base at once, where you will report to the detention center..."
In my Imperial Court, only the Emperor is not required to wear a hat. Even the figures in the portrait are wearing hats.
With supplies and ammuntion running out, I resorted to piracy to help support my armies...
In our snappy uniforms, we struck fear in our enemies...
We gave them an insouciant look as we approached the door...
When our armored units were destroyed by the ememy's Electro-Magnetic
Pulse Weapon, I appropriated fierce riding beasts, and formed cavalry divisions...
NOTE: the red riding-toy is an archaic Hoppity-Hop! After the Hoppity Hop became a casualty of a viscous thrust from a sharpened stick, it was retired to the shed for many years. Later, it was "skinned," and a portion of its rubber was cut to form a seal on the oil-fill cap on my 1.8 litre 914.
After years of extensive and expensive field tests, the debate over stopping power vs. concealability was never resolved to my satisfaction...
Although his wounds were severe, my lieutenant and I were able to smile as we addressed the troops...
I was not in the mood for even my brother's
jokes as I formulated my next battle-plan...
In the para-military organization known as the Future Emperors of the World, a.k.a., the Cub Scouts, I learned of the advantages of sophisticated, modern firearms.
I was angry with my Imperial Press Corps -- moments before battle was NOT the logical time for a photo-shoot, even though I was magnificently-attired in my pink battle-suit.
This 655 h.p. armed and armoured Chevrolet Corvette served as my limousine on those rare occasions when my Porsche 914 was in need of service.
My first troops were not even human -- I was forced to use sorcerous constructs. Often, such entities were remarkably stupid...
Their discipline was exceedingly poor. "Take them to the re-education chamber," I ordered, while sitting upon my Imperial throne.
I contemplated long and hard as to how I might enforce order upon their ranks...
But even the most stupid and headstrong of my constructs fell into line after a few applications of the dreaded Ear-Pinching Torture.
Once when we were ambushed, my enemies captured me and threw me into their dungeon. "Is this pitiful cage the best you can do?" I taunted. Within minutes, I had effected an escape, and went to release my brother...
...soon afterwards, we discovered a cache of primitive arms and armour. I had trained my brother well in the archaic combat forms, and in a brutal and bloody battle, we carved our way to freedom...
My brother was disturbed by what I intended to do, for he had unwisely fallen in love with the sacrificial virgin to his left. My carrier, however, continued to serve me well when I was too exhausted from my conjurations.
As I turned the page of the dread Tome, my brother's eyes widened in fear when I began to speak the incantation...
With a single mighty enchantment, I vanquished all my enemies. Raising my sceptre, I declared peace throughout the land.
