This is the infamous "Elven Charlie" image that used to decorate the wall of the lab where I worked. Clients would frequently look at it and say, "Hey, that's you!"

My former co-worker Jack and I took an existing image of me, and edited it in Photoshop to get the effects you see here.

This was in my "Beatles" phase, as you can see from my... very special haircut.

Actually, I never had a "Beatles" phase; I've never really cared for the Beatles.

Look how big my eyes are in this image. Wouldn't I have made a great anime character?

This photo is in my St. Anselm's Abbey Yearbook, I think.

There are an alarming number of childhood photographs of me in which I am holding a toy gun. This one is probably the first and the oldest. I think I am about 5 years old in the photo.

Another photo of me with a toy gun. This photo was taken by my next-door neighbor, who, after he got over his initial alarm at seeing me take aim at him with a rifle that was almost as big as I was, thought I looked kind of cute.

This photo was taken shortly after Sunday Mass. I believe that I carried the cap gun pictured into church with me, "for protection," as I later explained to my parents. "Protection from what?" I'm sure they asked. I have no idea what I was thinking at the time. Probably, I felt it would protect me from all the evil nuns. Note my charming plaid sportscoat and bow-tie. VERY 1970s.

This photo shows what happens if you tend to mouth off when you're in a sour mood -- someone may decide to stuff a lemon in your mouth.  Lacking a lemon, someone may use a lime.