Subject: Re: all alone alone except for the spam > I am really sick of the bleeding heart environmentalists who scream, > "You shouldn't eat tuna because of all the dolphins that get caught in > the nets." > Well, what about the tuna?!? Most environmentalists count dolphins over tuna because they state: 1: Dolphins are cute. Tuna is not. 2: Dolphins do tricks. Tuna does not. 3: There are NFL teams named after dolphins. What most environmentalists don't consider is that each of these statements are in fact myths, which I shall now take the time to debunk: 1: Dolphins are cute. Tuna is not. This is a fallacy. Anyone who has looked at a can of Starkist knows that Charlie the Tuna is cuter than even Shamu. Of course, once you open said can of tuna, Charlie doesn't look so good anymore, but neither would Flipper after *he* went through a meatgrinder. 2: Dolphins do tricks. Tuna does not. Another fallacy. I have taught my tuna cans to roll out of the cabinet and onto my head everytime I open it. This amazing trick works everytime, whether or not I give the cans a little fish. Therefore, tuna is also more reliable than dolphins. 3: There are NFL teams named after dolphins. True, the Miami Tunacans would not strike fear into your opponants, but is it really a compliment to have a sports team named after you? I can just see it now: Government Official: "Hi, me and my friends are gonna take all your land, force you to live in little, tiny reservations, and make you become alcoholics." Indian Chief: "Oh no!" Government Official: "But don't worry, because we will be sure to name some sports teams after you. Wouldn't that make you feel better?" Indian Chief: "Good, but can we also allow billionaire developers to build casinos on our land?" Government Official: "I don't see why not." Ken